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"Jack, I got a work. Them earlier days I used a quit the jobs. You got a wife with
money, a good job. You forget how it is bein broke all the time. You ever hear a
child support? I been payin out for years and got more to go. Let me tell you, I
can't quit this one. And I can't get the time off. It was tough gettin this time --
some a them late heifers is still calvin. You don't leave then. You don't.
Stoutamire is a hell-raiser and he raised hell about me takin the week. I don't
blame him. He probly ain't got a night's sleep since I left. The trade-off was
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"I did once." The tone was bitter and accusatory.
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"You been a Mexico, Jack?" Mexico was the place. He'd heard. He was cutting
fence now, trespassing in the shoot-em zone.
"Hell yes, I been. Where's the fuckin problem?" Braced for it all these years and
here it came, late and unexpected.
"I got a say this to you one time, Jack, and I ain't foolin. What I don't know,"
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"Try this one," said Jack, "and I'll say it just one time. Tell you what, we could a
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boy, fuckin all, so I hope you know that if you don't never know the rest. Count
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leash you keep me on, then ask me about Mexico and then tell me you'll kill me
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used a come away easy. It's like seein the pope now."
"Jack, I got a work. Them earlier days I used a quit the jobs. You got a wife with
money, a good job. You forget how it is bein broke all the time. You ever hear a
child support? I been payin out for years and got more to go. Let me tell you, I
can't quit this one. And I can't get the time off. It was tough gettin this time --
some a them late heifers is still calvin. You don't leave then. You don't.
Stoutamire is a hell-raiser and he raised hell about me takin the week. I don't
blame him. He probly ain't got a night's sleep since I left. The trade-off was
August. You got a better idea?"
"I did once." The tone was bitter and accusatory.
Ennis said nothing, straightened up slowly, rubbed at his forehead; a horse
stamped inside the trailer. He walked to his truck newports cigarettes website, put his hand on the trailer,
said something that only the horses could hear, turned and walked back at a
deliberate pace.
"You been a Mexico, Jack?" Mexico was the place. He'd heard. He was cutting
fence now, trespassing in the shoot-em zone.
"Hell yes, I been. Where's the fuckin problem?" Braced for it all these years and
here it came, late and unexpected.
"I got a say this to you one time, Jack, and I ain't foolin. What I don't know,"
said Ennis, "all them things I don't know could get you killed if I should come to
know them."
"Try this one," said Jack, "and I'll say it just one time. Tell you what, we could a
had a good life together, a fuckin real good life. You wouldn't do it, Ennis, so
what we got now is Brokeback Mountain. Everthing built on that. It's all we got,
boy, fuckin all, so I hope you know that if you don't never know the rest. Count
the damn few times we been together in twenty years. Measure the fuckin short
leash you keep me on, then ask me about Mexico and then tell me you'll kill me
for needin it and not hardly never gettin it. You got no fuckin idea how bad it
gets. I'm not you. I can't make it on a couple a high-altitude fucks once or twice
a year. You're too much for me, Ennis, you son of a whoreson bitch. I wish I
knew how to quit you."
Like vast clouds of steam from thermal springs in winter the years of things
unsaid and now unsayable -- admissions, declarations, shames, guilts, fears --
rose around them. Ennis stood as if heart-shot marlboro cigarettes website, face grey and deep-lined,
grimacing, eyes screwed shut, fists clenched, legs caving, hit the ground on his
knees. "Jesus," said Jack. "Ennis?" But before he was out of the truck, trying to
guess if it was heart attack or the overflow of an incendiary rage, Ennis was
back on his feet and somehow, as a coat hanger is straightened to open a
locked car and then bent again to its original shape, they torqued things almost
to where they had been, for what they'd said was no news. Nothing ended,
nothing begun wholesale newport cigarettes online, nothing resolved.
marlboro cigarettes website.
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